Photo credit: Janet Donovan
Just when you think you’ve have heard everything, along comes Tiffany Bowen. Don’t be fooled by the crystal enhanced laptop, things are not always as they seem.
Tiffany Bowen
Tiffany is married to Stephen Alexander Bowen, defensive end for the Washington Redskins. Their life together has been pretty storybook: College sweethearts who married in 2008; parents to three children (Trinity, Stephen III and Skyler). From the outside, they are “living the dream.”
Stephen Bowen – Photo credit: Wikipedia Commons
So what’s wrong with this picture? It’s hard to recount.
At 24 weeks of pregnancy, Tiffany emotionally and physically endured an emergency C-section while carrying their twin boys – Stephen and Skyler. Skyler weighed only 1lb 7 ounces and Stephen 1lb 6 ounces. By comparison, their dad weighs over three hundred pounds.
Over the next two weeks, their lives came crashing down and the unbearable happened. Skyler didn’t make it.
“Together Tiffany and Stephen held sweet Skyler until his little heart stopped and he was at peace. Tiffany found leaving her son’s body at the hospital almost too much to bear. She wanted to bring him home and cuddle their son like she had been picturing during her pregnancy. Instead, Tiffany went home and sat in darkness for days. Every time she tried to get out of bed it was like a magnet sucked her back in. Her world had stopped and she felt the rest of the world should stop with her. She didn’t want friends, family or the noise from the television or radio. She slept so much and hoped that the loss of her son wouldn’t be true – just some horrible nightmare that would be over when she opened her eyes. The only thing that kept her going during this sad time was visiting baby Stephen at the hospital. She needed to feed him and give him the love he needed.” Skyler’s Gift Foundation
Lesli Foster and Leslie Woolridge, senior editor at Capitol File
It’s the kind of story that someone like Leslie Foster (WUSA 9 News Anchor) might cover, not the loss part (according to an EPICure study, 1 in 8 babies are born prematurely in the United States. For those born at 24 weeks like Tiffany and Stephen Bowens’s twin boys, Stephen and Skyler, there is only a 39% chance of survival), but rather the aftermath of Tiffany and Stephen’s tragedy.
As Tiffany told it, she noticed that some parents in similar circumstances didn’t always come to visit their premature children. She was curious about the why. Why would they not be there 24/7 during this time? It was then that she began to think alternative thoughts: Parking was expensive, maybe they couldn’t afford it. Maybe they had to work despite their circumstances. Maybe they were alone with no one to help them. Afterall, not everyone maintained an otherwise stable lifestyle as the Bowen’s did. But that was just the surface of what would follow.
In honor of Skyler’s Gift, Tiffany Bowen and Elizabeth Thorp, newly appointed editor of Capitol File, hosted a ladies luncheon at Cafe Milano in Georgetown. The mostly media guests (including WLJA’s Rebecca Cooper, Jennifer Nyzc-Connor – Washington Business Journal, Carol Joynt and Kate Bennett from Washingtonian and Kelly Collis of 94.7 Fresh FM) were in for a shock as Tiffany told her story. That is not to say they didn’t enjoy roasted free range chicken breast in a lemon capper suace with sauteed french beans or the spice syrup soaked savarin baba filled with vanilla cream and amerna cherries – they did. Bowen’s intent was not to make guests feel sorry for her or make them feel uncomfortable, but she did want them to take action. Guests listened intently.
The aftermath: Be prepared to be shocked. “The remains of premature babies are often treated like medical waste!” The costs of infant burials run high and not available to everyone. “I met people who also lost a baby and some of them could not afford a funeral,” Bowen said.
Tiffany and Stephen started Skyler’s Gift Foundation to provide financial support to families in need that have lost their newborn infants from complications of premature birth. They believe no one should have to face this loss alone and especially without the needed resources in place. While many services are in place for families during hospitals stays in the NICU, after a loss the support is no longer there.
The funding will provide support for the following: Mortuary and burial cost, Grief counseling for the family (including siblings), Support groups and Educational materials for families and the public.
Although this is their personal story – Skyler’s story – it could happen to anyone. Life and death doesn’t take sides.
